Living in Balance and Harmony

The TAO of Living in Balance and Harmony

The mind needs balance and harmony both to control the body and to seek guidance from the soul, which supervises the mind.

Balance and harmony in the soul is alignment and connection for self-healing of the body.

Alignment and realignment

The body, the mind, and the soul work together as a system of life energy for healing. The free flow or stagnation of this life-giving energy is dependent on the balance and harmony of the body, the mind, and the soul at each and every moment. It is this moment-to-moment alignment in the body, the mind, and the soul, as well as their alignment with one another, that creates your unique state of self-healing and self-help, which is a miracle in itself.

What is your current state of self-healing and self-help?

If you are living your life as if nothing is a miracle, most probably your body, mind, and soul are in misalignment with one another. You might feel your body is not healing, your mind is strangled with sadness and doomed to despair, and you life has little or no meaning, without a goal or purpose. On the other hand, if your current state of being is one of joy, hope, and purpose, you are living as if everything is a miracle because your body, mind, and soul are not only inter-connected, but also in perfect balance and harmony with one another.

Alignment or realignment is inter-connection of the body, the mind, and the soul to achieve balance and harmony for self-healing and self-help.

The miracle of self-healing is manifested in the spiritual wisdom of the soul that guides and inspires the mind, which controls the body living in the physical world.

Connection and reconnection

According to entropy, one of the laws of physics, anything left to itself will ultimately disintegrate, and fall apart.

According to John Donne, the famous English poet, “no man is an island, and every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.”

Essentially, everything in the universe is somehow and somewhat connected, just as man is connected with one another in a subtle way. The miracle of this connection is to provide balance and harmony to guarantee their existence and co-existence, that is, their alignment with one another.

Focusing on others rather than just on yourself illuminates your soul to see its necessity to express your empathy, generosity, gratitude, and loving-kindness to others. But the challenge not to do that is as great as your innate desire to seek spirituality. Therefore, simplicity in living may enhance your spirituality and increase your strength to overcome the challenge to seek spiritual wisdom.

With spiritual wisdom, you may believe in the miracle of self-healing. You will then see that all happenings in your life are somehow “connected” for an unfathomable and unimaginable purpose, and that you can turn any bad situation into an opportunity for self-healing and self-help. Believe in the miracle that you are connected with everyone you meet in your life, and that everyone can be either your teacher or your student. In other words, there is much for you to learn from any circumstance, as well as from one another. This is the miracle of alignment and connection.

The TAO

According to the TAO, not living in balance and harmony is not living for life:

“When there is abundance, there is lacking.

When there is craving, there is discontentment.

Striving for power to control and influence

every aspect of our lives

is the source of our suffering.

Obsessed with getting and keeping,

many of us never really live before we die.

Following the Way,

we must learn to let go.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 75)

Letting go is adapting and adjusting any imbalance and disharmony in your everyday life and living:

“Following the Way is like bending a bow:

one end is pulled up;

the other end is pulled down.

Excess and deficiency are balanced.

According to wisdom of the Way:

we reduce when there is excess;

we increase when there is deficiency.

Balance is thus created.

According to common wisdom:

we increase excess and deplete deficiency.

Imbalance is thus created.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 77)

But, given that there are too many attachments in life, letting go is not easy and it requires profound human wisdom:

“Stilling our thoughts,

our needs become few.

Following our thoughts,

our distractions become more,

and thus living in chaos.

Enlightenment is our true nature.

Meditation helps us find the origin,

and thus ending our suffering.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 52)

Attachments to the world are only distractions that lead to detours, causing imbalance and disharmony along the journey:

“The Way is easy,

yet people prefer distracting detours.

Beware when things are out of balance.

Remain centered within the Creator.

                

Distractions are many,

in the form of riches and luxuries.

They allure us from the Way.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 53)

No-stress living is the way to attaining balance and harmony:

“So, we no longer argue with those who are cynical.

We stop looking for their approval.

We cease taking offense at their unbelief.

We just sow the seeds along the Way,

letting the Creator reap the harvest.

To be loved or rejected,

to gain or to lose,

to be approved or disapproved,

no longer matters to us,

when we know who we are

and who the Creator is.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 56)

According to the TAO, living in balance and harmony is all about “spontaneity" which is the understanding of the nature of all things.  

According to the TAO, spontaneity is “doing without over-doing”—which essentially means “doing without consciously anticipating the outcome.”

In the universe, there is an all-controlling force that monitors everything. You breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide. You eat and you eliminate. You grow, mature, and die. Spontaneity is the natural built-in mechanism in each living organism. Spontaneity creates balance and harmony, expressed in the Yin and the Yang (the female and the male). Spontaneity is the ultimate understanding of the natural cycle of all things that are beyond human control: what goes up must also come down; success is followed by failure; life forever begets death:

“The Creator creates one.

One creates two.

Two creates three.

Three creates a myriad of things.

All have their original unity

in the duality of the Yin and the Yang,

the opposite life forces that harmonize.

We experience this harmonious process

in the rising and falling of our breaths.

People naturally avoid loss and seek gain.

But with all things along the Way,

there is no need to pick and choose.

There is no gain without loss.

There is no abundance without lack.

We do not know how and when

one gives way to the other.

So, we just remain in the center of things,

trusting the Creator, instead of ourselves.

This is the essence of the Way.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 42)

With spontaneity, we become babies again, living in perfect balance and harmony with everyone and everything:

“If we are in harmony with the Creator,

we are like newborn babies,

in natural harmony with all.

Our bones are soft, and our muscles are weak,

but our grip is strong and powerful.

Not knowing about sex,

we manifest sexual arousal.

Crying all day long,

we lose not our voice.

With constancy and harmony,

we accomplish all daily tasks

without growing tired.

                        

In natural harmony with the Creator,

we let all things come and go,

exerting no effort, showing no desire,

and expecting no result.

Natural harmony is experienced

only in the present moment,

when we see the natural laws of the Creator.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 55)

According to the TAO, living in the present moment is living in balance and harmony:

“We act without over-action.

We manage without interference.

We enjoy without attachment.

Effrontery is just

an opportunity for loving-kindness.

Great accomplishments are only

a combination of small steps.

Difficult tasks are no more than

a series of easy steps.

Therefore, we focus on the present moment,

doing what needs to be done,

without straining and stressing.

To end our suffering,

we focus on the present moment,

instead of our expected result.

So, we follow the natural laws of things.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 63)

Most importantly, spontaneity shows us the wisdom of the impermanence of all things—that is, nothing lasts despite all human efforts to make them continue:

“Strong winds come and go.

So do torrential rains.

Even heaven and earth cannot make them last forever.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 23)

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Be Your True Self

 Be Your True Self

As you continue your life journey, always look forward, instead of looking backward with regret and remorse. Don’t ever wish you were someone else; always be your true self.

Life is about experiences, which are composed of thoughts of those experiences. According to James Allen, author of As A Man Thinketh, men are “makers of themselves” and the human mind is the “master-weaver, both of the inner garment of character and the outer garment of circumstance.” Accordingly, you have become who you are and what you have by way of your own thinking over the years; in short, you are the sum of your own thoughts.

So, life is about mind over matter. To fully harness your mind power, first of all, you need to fully understand the role of the mind and how your mind works, so that it may work for you, instead of against you; and then learn the strategies to fully utilize your mind power.

The brain is composed of grey matters and neurons or nerve cells that transmit information and messages; they are the building blocks of the brain for brain fitness to be receptive of the wisdom in the art of living well.

Neurons are responsible for all human behaviors in the form of perceptions, which trigger a mental process that results in an action or an emotion. If the process becomes instinctive, then the output in the form of action or emotion is also automatic and predictable. That is how attitudes and habits are formed, including the fight-or-flight response to any situation. This automatic or spontaneous mental process is often not “by choice.” The bad news is that this “learned” mental process is responsible for the way we think and act, for our beliefs and emotions, for our actions or inactions, and for our behaviors—in other words, every aspect of our lives. The good news is that you can learn to recognize this instinctive or automatic mental process, challenge its reality or see through the deception, and then take appropriate actions to change the mental process accordingly. Wisdom is the ability to recognize the deception behind the quasi-truths acquired by the mind, that is, the ability to separate the sheep from the goats.

Experiences and the Mind

Your experiences in life are the byproducts of what happens to you throughout your life, which is determined by two pivotal players:

Circumstances

Circumstances are events that happen to you and around you, and they fall under two categories: self-inflicting internal circumstances, such as, procrastination affecting the turns of events in your life; uncontrollable external circumstances, such as, accidents due to no fault of your own.

 

Choices

Choices result in actions or inactions, which often bring about consequences as well as circumstances that affect your life in general and in specific.

All in all, you are who you think you are. But that is not the real you. To live your life as if everything is a miracle, you have to know your true self first and foremost. Get the blueprint to live your life in the art of living well, and be the maker of your true self.

The Book of Life and Living will show you how to live your life according to who you really are, and not who you wish you were. 

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Human Attachments

The Origin of Human Attachments

All attachments originate from the ego-self.

What is an ego? Do we all have an ego-self?

An ego is an identity of any individual. Yes, we all have an ego-self, with no exception.

As soon as a baby begins his or her perceptions through the five senses, that baby begins to develop an identity, such as “this toy is mine” and “I want this.” Well, there is nothing wrong with that initial identification. However, as time passes by, the human ego may continue to expand and inflate to the extent that it may become problematic with all its attachments.

What is the ego-self?

Simply look at yourself in front of a mirror. What do you see?

A self-reflection. Is it for real? Can you actually touch it? Not really; it is only a reflection of someone real—the real you in front of the mirror!

Now, do something totally different. Place a baby—if there is one immediately available—in front of the mirror. See what happens. The baby might crawl toward the baby in the mirror. Why? It is because the baby in front of the mirror might think that the baby in the mirror is another baby, and just not his or her own reflection.

Likewise, the ego-self may look real, but it is not real. To think otherwise is self-deception.

How is the ego-self formed?

Descartes, the great French philosopher, made his very famous statement: “I think, therefore I am.” Accordingly, you think and you then become what you think you are—the byproducts of all your thoughts and your own thinking.

Unfortunately, Descartes’ famous statement is only partially true: it is true that you identify yourself with all your thoughts projected into your thinking mind; but it is not true that your identities thus created by your thoughts and your own thinking truly reflect your true self. The fact of the matter is that you are not your thoughts, and your thoughts are not you. To think otherwise is a human flaw, which is no more than self-delusion or self-illusion. In other words, you are not what and who you think you really are.

Gradually, all your life experiences with their own respective messages—the pleasant as well as the unpleasant, the positive as well as the negative—are all stored at the back of your subconscious mind in the form of your assumptions, attitudes, causal concepts, and memories.

Accumulated over the years, millions and billions of such experiences and messages have become the raw materials with which you subconsciously weave the fabrics of your life, making you who and what you have now become—or so you think. In other words, they have now become your “realities” or your ego-self with its many attachments to make you believe you are what you think or wish you were.

Likewise, a baby originally does not have the ego-self (at least, not yet), and thus sees the reflected image in the mirror as another baby. But you, on the other hand, with your own ego-self, see the reflected image in the mirror as the same you, and not a different person. So, your ego-self is simply a reflection of you; what you see in the mirror is not real, just a reflection. But the problem is: you think it is the real you, and your false identity may lead to an identity crisis.

Learn how to let go of your attachments to the material world that define who you think you are, and these attachments may include your attachments to money and wealth, career and success, among others.

Stephen Lnd au

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Letting Go to Let God

THE MIRACLE OF LETTING GO TO LET GOD

Spiritual wisdom facilitates the process of humans’ letting go, and spiritual wisdom comes from faith, which is belief in God.

“Belief in God” means complete trust in Him that has to be expressed and validated by obedience; in other words, let go to let God.

Does the wisdom of letting God sound simple and straightforward?

According to Albert Einstein, knowing and understanding are the essentials of wisdom—they are also critical to attaining the wisdom of letting go to let God.

The mysteries and the manifestations

Have more knowledge of the invisible and the inexplicable that is happening to you and also around you, as well as have better understanding of the mysteries and the manifestations of all things created by God, who is the origin of all things. His Creation has been one of the most controversial, profound, and unfathomable mysteries since the beginning of time, while all the things subsequently originating from His creations are only further manifestations of the mysteries of His Creation.

God-given image and man-made identity

Letting go to let God begins with believing in the mysteries and manifestations of human creation: we are all created in the image of God.

“So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.”

(Genesis 1: 27)

                  

What does that really mean, and what is the wisdom in that?

You may never know why you were created in the first place, but one thing you know for sure is that not only you are different from all His other creations but also all humans are uniquely different from one another in that respect—just like the uniqueness in humans’ fingerprints. The wisdom is that you, just like everybody else, have His image, and this is indeed a blessing. That also means you  have a spirit within you that not only defines who you are, but also connects you somehow and somewhat to and with Him in a uniquely individual way, because your image is a reflection of Him. In other words, we all have a unique identity of our own, which is composed of some of the attributes of the Creator.

Living in the material world, you may also have consciously and subconsciously created another image of your own—a man-made identity, or an ego-self. If you are more aware of your man-made identity, you may then become less conscious of your God-given image. Your attachments that have created your own man-made identity may then slowly and imperceptibly detach and distance yourself from your God-given image.

The bottom line: letting go of some, if not all, of your attachments to your man-made identity may enhance your God-given image within you. Do you always identify yourself with the car you drive, the neighborhood you live in, the social circles you belong to, and the career you have taken up? All these attachments in the material world may have created your own man-made identity, but not your God-given image. Just think about that.

Let go to let God define your own identity.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Make Your Smart Baby Super Smart

All parents want their babies to develop and grow up smart. Smartness has much to do with the genes of the parents: that is, how much time they are willing to spend on cultivating an environment for their babies to grow and learn.

The following is taken from my book: Make Your Smart Baby Super Smart:

The first three years are critical to emotional intelligence and intellectual development that ultimately affect and shape the adult life of your baby.

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the use of mental skills to understand, perceive, and explain certain human emotions and feelings in order to promote better thinking and to enhance greater cognitive activities. Most importantly, it helps an adult to manage his or her own emotions in a positive way—this is vital to living a happy life through better relationships and greater understanding of others.

Building emotional health and personal identity of your baby is the groundwork of his subsequent emotional intelligence.

Do give your baby the best first three years of his life. Do understand that your interactions with your baby define his expectations of the world, and shape his attitudes towards life in general.

According to famous psychologist Erik Erikson, trust holds the key to openness to new experiences, and new opportunities for leaning; your baby’s trust stems from being loved and nurtured, as well as feeling safe and secure, in the first few years of his life. Do give your baby that love and sense of security. Remember, you can never turn back the clock.

A baby’s feeling of trust is built upon good bonding between the baby and the parents. These are some of the dos and don’ts to build your baby’s trust:

Do establish direct physical contact: do make every effort to snuggle your baby as much and as often as possible. According to research studies, babies at age two, having had better bonding with their parents, demonstrate better social and problem-solving skills, as well as more creativity in their play.

Do spend time with your baby. One interesting study found that one common characteristic of all who did well in the Scholastic Aptitude Tests (SATs): they all ate dinner with their parents on a regular basis. If you must go to work, make sure that your spouse or the grandparents can spend some time with your baby.

Do learn to read and interpret your baby’s signals to communicate his needs to you, and respond appropriately. Do teach him sign language so that he can communicate with you even before he can speak.

Do meet all your baby’s needs. You can spoil a toddler or a child, but you can never spoil a baby. Secure emotions enhance the development of emotional intelligence in the brain. Do make every effort to meet his needs to help his brain develop his emotional intelligence at an early age.

Do create a stress-free environment for your baby. Don’t argue or fight in front of your baby. Stress increases your baby’s hormone cortisol, which can make your baby become anxious, impulsive, and hyperactive later on as he grows up.

Do provide affirmative messages to your baby. Before three years old, your baby will instinctively absorb all messages you send him, and will automatically internalize them in his subconscious mind. Repeat and repeat as often as possible affirmative messages, such as “You’re a smart kid” or “You’re super smart; you can do anything you want to.” Do make use of this timeframe to help him create a positive self-image. Don’t say any damaging remark no matter how frustrating you are with his behavior; he will remember your words for the rest of his life even though you may not mean what you say.

Do teach your two-year-old (known as “terrible two”) self-control; his personality may have become defiant and uncooperative because he is learning and struggling with his own self-control. Do respond with a clear and definitive “No!” followed by a calm explanation; this may help your child understand why he cannot always have his way. Don’t criticize or physically intervene his action while losing your temper; you may be cultivating his defiance towards authority figures.

Do teach your baby orderliness, which is putting things where they belong. For example, you can show your toddler where to put his toys or how to clean up after playtime. Orderliness will help him see how the world works later as he grows up. Your child needs to get the satisfaction from doing things himself, such as cleaning and tidying his room or playroom. Don’t spoil your child by doing everything yourself.   

Intellectual Development

You are the most important role model for your baby’s intellectual development. If you like to read, your child will learn to read at any early age.

My Own Reflection

Wanting my daughter to have the best intellectual development, I began teaching her how to read as early as she was eight months old. Surprisingly, she learned how to read as soon as she was thirty months old. Before long, she could read faster than I. My point is that any intellectual development has to be cultivated and nurtured. If you want your baby to be an early reader, spend time reading

Emotional intelligence is essentially awareness of one’s emotions and feelings, as well as those of others. Likewise, intellectual development in a baby is contingent on the parental awareness of the emotional development of the baby. Do become aware of your baby’s development, which is a reflection of his own emotional growth; the following usually occurs within the first year:

Your baby begins to show sensitivity to loud sounds and bright lights. Do hold and snuggle him more.

Your baby begins to recognize your voice and turn to make eye contact with you. Do look at your baby more often.

Your baby begins to develop his social smile. Do reward it with your warm smile.

Your baby begins to enjoy the company of other people. Do have people, such as grandparents, around your baby.

Your baby begins to imitate movements and facial expressions. Do make movements with your hands and fingers, as well as with your eyes and mouth.

Your baby begins to laugh when playing to express his pleasure. Do laugh while playing with your baby.

Your baby begins to raise his arms to be picked up. Do pick up your baby.

Your baby begins to complain when confined to his crib or playpen. Do let your baby out.

All of the above may develop in your baby before age-one. Do try to meet all your baby needs to comply with his emotional development, thereby instrumental in enhancing his intellectual development. 

 Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau