MY “ANGRY NO MORE” COMMANDS
As I
continue to grow older, I often look back into my past to find out how and why I can become “angry no more” through my daily "commands" to myself:
1. My “Thinkfulness” Command
On waking up every morning, my
first command and instruction to myself is “thinkfulness”, which is thinking of
thankfulness that I’ve survived yet another day. My mind is filled with thoughts of what I
should thank the Lord for—giving me another day.
2. My “Complaint” Command
Throughout the day, I try to catch myself mentally complaining about anything, especially related to my thriving,
such as the obstacles in my anticipated achievement. By not complaining, I try to avoid putting my mind in a
state of unconsciousness that creates negative energy and denial of the present
moment. If I’m still complaining, I’m in fact saying: “I can’t accept what is,
and I’m a victim of the present situation.” Understandably, in the present
moment, I’ve only three options in any situation that I’m complaining
about: get away from the situation; change the situation; and accept the
situation as it is.
I ask
the Lord to speak to me and let me listen. Then, I’ll command myself to act accordingly. Acting,
taking no action, or accepting the situation—I pray for the Lord to take away my fear, my regret, and
my negativity.
3. My “Stress” Command
Stress
is inevitable in everybody’s life, including mine, especially while growing
older. With that
realization, I’ve learned to command myself to re-focus more on the present,
and less on the future. Without any timeline for my goals, I’ve learned to enjoy doing anything without
thinking of the consequence.
4. My “Past” Command
In my
life, I’ve made many mistakes that might have changed my life—maybe for the
worse, or maybe not. Who knows? And who cares? After all, the Lord is in
control of my life. Right now, I’m where He
has destined for me. I never
let the past take up my attention. I don’t let my thinking process create any
anger, guilt, pride, regret, resentment, or self-pity. But, just like everybody
else, I might still have my own negative feelings and emotions, but they never
last too long. I believe that if I allow those thoughts of mine to control me,
I’d look much older than my calendar age, and, worse, create a false sense of
self. Reminiscing what was good in the past would only intensify my desire to
“repeat” a similar experience in the future, and thus creating an insatiable
longing that may never be fulfilled. Remembering what was unpleasant in the
past would only generate my own emotions of remorse and unhappiness. So, I just
walk with the Lord, and command myself to let my bygones be bygones.
5. My “Present” Command
To me,
living in the present holds the key to stopping my mind from processing my past
and my future thoughts, which is the instinctive and automatic output of my
mental process. My mind
is cruel and demanding, such that I may easily become its slaves, doing
whatever it commands and demands me to do without even being consciously aware
of it. So, the only way to free myself from that invisible bondage is to live
in the now, even though just for a short while. Living in the now changes my
mind for the better: it cherishes my mental clarity, my deep insight, and my
internal peace. Living in the now has become a strong tool for my mental self-control. So, I
command my daily mindfulness to make me live in the now with the Lord’s
Presence in my mind.
6. My “Future” Command
As I
grow older, I acknowledge that I’ve the propensity to identify myself with my
thinking mind, projected into the future with imaginary images of myself living
in a nursing home, being totally disabled, and thus creating my own imaginary
anxiety, fear, and worry. But I’ve also learned that the projected future is unreal because it doesn’t exist. It becomes real only when it happens—but not before or even after it. So,
waiting for the future is only my state of mind: I want the future, but not the
present; I don’t want what I’ve already got, but I want what I haven’t got
yet. So, I command myself to acknowledge my present reality—who I am, where I
am, what I am doing with my life. My daily acknowledgement is my obedience to the Lord.
7. My “Misfortune” Command
Life
won’t be wholesome without misfortunes and tragedies, which enable my
appreciation of what life has to offer. There is a Chinese saying: “A man’s destiny can’t be summarized and sealed
until nails are put on his coffin’s top.” So, I
command myself to trust what the Lord has destined for me until the last day of
my life on earth. Anyway, I wouldn’t be the person putting the nails on my
coffin’s top.
8. My “Right Conduct” Command
Right
conduct is living in the right way, which is more than “not breaking the law.”
To be right with the Lord is to do all the right and the righteous things in my
life through the Holy Spirit, instead of through my mind in my flesh. So,
every day I command myself to turn to the Holy Spirit for help.
9. My “Failure” Command
Life is
full of failures, big and small. But they shouldn’t have become the stumbling
blocks in my life journey. For example, I failed as an antique shop owner when
I set up my retail antique business; I still have many of the antiques that I
like, but I couldn’t find enough customers for my business to survive. Also, I
failed as an entrepreneur when I bought a franchised cleaning business; I’d
problems finding workers and ended up doing the cleaning myself. I always
look upon my past failures with positive attributes: a lesson of humility to
show my own limitation and inadequacy; a lesson of never getting what I want in
my life; a lesson of strengthening my character; a lesson of perseverance and
survival from failures. If I’d
succeeded in my previous endeavors, I’d have embarked on a totally different life journey heading toward a totally different direction. Would I really have been better off or
worse off? Who knows, and who cares? I never ponder on the “might have” or the
“would have” scenarios. In addition, I often recall what Bill Gates
said: “Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they
can’t lose.” So, I command myself to follow the Lord as my
Shepherd.
10. My “Life Purpose” Command
I understand that life must have a purpose: an
external as well as an internal purpose.
I realize that in life setting an external purpose
is important, but not so important that it drives me crazy in pursuing it or
giving it up altogether. As a matter of fact, there’s an external purpose that
only sets me a direction for the destination of my life. In that direction,
there’re many different signposts guiding me along the way. Arriving at one signpost simply means that
I’ve accomplished one task; missing that signpost means that I’m still on the
right path but simply taking maybe a detour or just longer time because of my
misdirection or getting lost on the way.
My internal purpose is more important: it has
nothing to do with arriving at my destination or not, but to do with the quality of my consciousness—what I’m doing along the way. That Jesus said: “gain the world and lose your
soul” probably says everything there’s to say about the internal purpose of
life for me. External purpose can never give lasting fulfillment
in life due to its transience and impermanence, but internal purpose, because
of its unique quality of being in the present moment, may give me inner joy and
a sense of fulfillment. That’s how I feel about my internal life purpose.
No matter what I do in my life, I just command
myself to do my very best.
Stephen Lau
for the Lord to take away my fear, my regret, and
my negativity.
3. My “Stress” Command
Stress
is inevitable in everybody’s life, including mine, especially while growing
older.
While
working on my book, I often focus too much on the future and forget about the
present. My mind may easily become preoccupied with getting to the next chapter
or the completion of that book, such that I easily forget about the present. I
realize that my stress is due to my “being here” but
“wanting to be there.”
With that
realization, I’ve learned to command myself to re-focus more on the present,
and less on the future. Without any timeline for my writing, I’ve learned to enjoy my writing and the writing process without
thinking of the consequence.
4. My “Past” Command
In my
life, I’ve made many mistakes that might have changed my life—maybe for the
worse, or maybe not. Who knows? And who cares? After all, the Lord is in
control of my life. Right now, I’m where He
has destined for me.
I never
let the past take up my attention. I don’t let my thinking process create any
anger, guilt, pride, regret, resentment, or self-pity. But, just like everybody
else, I might still have my own negative feelings and emotions, but they never
last too long. I believe that if I allow those thoughts of mine to control me,
I’d look much older than my calendar age, and, worse, create a false sense of
self.
Reminiscing what was good in the past would only intensify my desire to
“repeat” a similar experience in the future, and thus creating an insatiable
longing that may never be fulfilled. Remembering what was unpleasant in the
past would only generate my emotions of remorse and unhappiness.
One of the reasons why sometimes you don’t have self-efficacy is your obsession with your past. You could have been haunted by your past failures that generated regrets, bitterness, and disappointments that you have not been able to let go of. Attachment to the past is always a stumbling block to moving ahead. 
